Pointers to automatically null when object is deleted

Say I have an object and 10 pointers to it in several other objects of varying class types. if the object gets deleted, those pointers have to be set to null. normally I would interconnect the object's class with the classes which have pointers to it so that it can notify them it is being deleted, and they can set their pointers to null. but this also has the burden that the classes must also notify the object when THEY are deleted since the object will need a pointer to them as well. That way the object doesn't call dereference a dangling pointer when it destructs and attempts to notify the others.

I don't like this confusing web of crap and I'm looking for a better method.

Please note that auto pointers and shared pointers are not what I'm looking for - auto pointers delete their object when they destruct, and shared pointers do the same when no more shared pointers are pointing to it. What I'm looking for is a slick method for setting all pointers to an object to null when the object destructs.
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