No, I don't think I can do anything now. I've said it before, even after 17 years of doing it, I still consider myself a beginner. I will never consider myself a master of C++, even if I was 90 years old and could quote the standard and language features verbatim to everyone. Just the dreams I had for programming, after all these years, are quickly proving pointless and don't have any interest in programming outside of those dreams so it is starting to bore me.
I wanted to be a game programmer, take away that and I really have no interest in any other programming.
Nothing worth bragging about. I tried to start my own company a few years back, but never got off the ground. I also don't work well in teams so I'm the poster child for what not to do for a game programmer. Thinking back, in 17 years it was all clones for the most part. I never released anything I did get done. I brag more about my friend programmer's work than I do my own.
Well, where I went wrong you may go right. You can't get discouraged because one person failed where you want to go. If you get discouraged because of me failing, you would be really discouraged if you saw the numbers for failure:success ratio. I think the last numbers I heard was for every 100 kids that try, maybe 10 or so would succeed. How will you know if you are one of the 10 successful ones if you get discouraged by one of the 80 failures?
I usually get a rush when I have a clear picture of what I want to do and how to get there. When that happens, I can easily hack away for hours without a break. Unfortunately, that's a very shaky position for me. If I see so far ahead that I can hold the entire project in my mind, I tend to become overwhelmed by how much there's still to do. When that happens, I become unable to work on it for weeks.
This is only in my personal projects. Fortunately, at work I can avoid this by focusing on each task independently.
I think the last numbers I heard was for every 100 kids that try, maybe 10 or so would succeed.
100 - 10 = 90 but I forgot to mention that of the 90 about 10 give up so 80 failures. Those were the numbers we were given in college as an example. I just misquoted it.
Had the instructor send me the example (copy and pasted from my email):
"Let's say there are 100 programmers. Now, it would be great if all 100 could become successful, but that isn't the case. Maybe 10 of those programmers will become successful and of the 90 left about 10 will give up and never even actually fail to become successful. Strive to be those 10 successful! Should you be one of the 80 that failed, at least you can say you tried and had fun doing it!"
I interpreted it as being equivalent to flow (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flow_%28psychology%29 ). In short, it's the feeling you get when code just seems to effortlessly flow out your fingers. You're not bored because what you're doing is not trivial, you're not struggling because the task is within or just within your capacity, and you're concentrated to the point where the world around you seems to have disappeared.