Albatross finally came back to the forums~

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closed account (z05DSL3A)
Welcome 'home' Albatross.
closed account (S6k9GNh0)
Welcome back!
I definitely know how bad depression can get. I'm manic depressive. I take medication and have for years, but every once in a while it needs to be adjusted. I can honestly say I've been on the brink of suicide on more than one occasion in my life.
And she's back!
It certainly has been a long time!

Hope you're doing well.
I mean, I assume you're doing well, because you're posting again.

But yeah, welcome back! As inactive as I am these days, I look forward to reading your posts again :)
I might go away and come back and enjoy everyone being happy to see me
Ha ha ha ha, was that a joke? Because it certainly was a good one.

[the statement above was a joke.]

--------------------------------------

Anyway, welcome back. I never really knew you, but in my Fredbill30 days I think you helped me out a bit.

I was debating whether I should comment here, but I thought it was going to be awk af.

So again, welcome back.
One of us ... one of us ... one of us ...

But seriously though, it's good to see the regular contributors coming back. I'm really sorry to hear about your condition, a lot of the women in my family have BPD and I can't even imagine what it would be like to see them on the "Down Swing" all of the time. I hope you've found something that works for you.
Thank you everyone for the heart-warming responses. It's really quite touching. :_)

@devonrevenge
Oi, I didn't do this to play with anyone's feelings (except maybe my own but detail).

@Lumpkin:
I've been disoriented on more than one occasion because of name changes. It's nice to see you. HA THIS IS THE OPPORTUNITY TO ESCAPE THE URBANDICTIONARY DEFINITION OF MY USERNAME!

@Computergeek01:
Oooh, BPD is hell. I hope everyone is managing to cope alright and that nobody feels like killing themselves.

-Albatross
@Albatross, I was just playing, I wouldn't dare leave the people on this forum they need me, hearts would be broken.
closed account (Dy7SLyTq)
if devon left i think everyone else would, because hes the reason we all come on
devonrevenge wrote:
@Albatross, I was just playing, I wouldn't dare leave the people on this forum they need me, hearts would be broken.

Yep, we would. More satisfying to get him banned instead ;) :P.

Albatross, I'm glad you are back, but your health is more important than a site so you can disappear as much as you need. Just promise you will take care of yourself.
@BHXSpecter
Thank you. I'm doing well enough that I can function and program in C++ and not only, say, Java, thank goodness. If you're a passionate CS junkie and can only program in Java... is that really existing?

-Albatross
Are you working on a new prject? Last time I remember you were working on your own programming language and a synthesizer. If your depression is over you must be doing something, I guess.

And depresssion.. it's one of those that things I'll never understand.
@Null
Depression doesn't begin and end. Depression is an on going thing, just some days it is better than others and you are able to fake not being depressed then in some cases they have to depend on antidepressants to help curve the effect of the depression.
@Null
And I hope you never will understand.

I still have the source code for the synthesizer, and I think I might slowly start working on it again. As for the compiler, well I only had 2% of battery life to get files off my old laptop and that one got left behind. I should update my profile.

But! I didn't answer your question. The answer is yes. When things were starting to get harder for me, a good friend of mine at one point suggested that I should make a mod for Minecraft, specifically a new dimension mod with hellish levels of difficulty to "make survival fun again". Originally, I wasn't all too enthusiastic about the idea, but then I realized that it could work and with some pushing from the friend, I got to work on it.

Finding motivation to work on it was tough. Fortunately Java is a lot easier to program in than C++ (if a lot less fun) and I had most of the frameworks I needed already constructed for me. So it grew slowly at first. Now the mod is a good size and I'm still working on it.

That said, I never got as much of a rush from getting something in the mod to work as I did from the synthesizer, though I know of at least one person who enjoys the mod. Geez, I sound like an addict. I guess I am. But there's a fine line between addiction and passion, right? >_>

-Albatross
Welcome back! Sorry to hear about the depression... It's a tough thing to live with (I'm very much like BHXSpecter in that respect, stable depressive).

A minecraft mod! How grand! Seriously though, sounds neat. I'm curious, is it difficult to work with the minecraft framework? I've considered trying in the past but other projects (and my lack of mastery with Java) got in the way.
Minecraft's code is god-awful in places, but it's not that dreadful to work with in most cases if you use Forge's API as well. Forge really helps to deal with a lot of hard-coded stuff in Minecraft, which lets you avoid modifying base classes (modifying base files kills mod compatibility and is generally considered a faux-pas unless the mod is really really good).

If you're good with C++, you'll be okay with Java. It may take a bit of time to adjust to some of the concepts (for example: all non-basic variables are references, the super keyword, no multiple inheritance, enums are classes). I'm pretty sure I caught a glimpse of a check for a Scala compiler in the recompilation script's output, so it may also be possible to program your mod in Scala if you so wish.

-Albatross
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Relevant for one topic of this thread: www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PSGNx6vbJk‎


(that whole epic is about various states of mental disarray. this song is about a girl with bi-polar. Some times during my highs I were the most productive I've ever been
Wow... that piece is beautiful yet dark on so many levels. I love that kind of music. Thank you, Cheraphy.

*adds a few of Dream Theatre's pieces to her music library*

-Albatross
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