I've tried dating one at a time for a while, it's not good. Have you never had several girls interested in you but you only date one, and by the time you realise they're not right for you, the others that were interested are now long gone? Happened to me too many times. I changed thanks to this guy.
@ I GuNNeR I: I gave that video about 15 mins and I can already tell he's another try hard that some women happen to find attractive. In between the blah blah blah "I got beat up in high school so I went to China to study fake medicine and a useless fighting style" blah blah hipster crap he did have a few nuggets of useful advice for people who haven't figured it out for themselves. Yes you should build a lifestyle that attracts the people you want to be around. The trick here is knowing how to keep them ... "entertained" (for lack of a better term). Yes you should have some amount of confidence in yourself, people like being around confident people and no one wants to be around a person who whines about how bad stuff is and then doesn't do anything to fix it. And yes you should have your own life together before you try to bring someone else in on it.
The hardest part about living a poly-amorous lifestyle (btw this is what it is called when people in these types of open relationships are honest with each other about it) is being able to afford it. I'm not saying that women are gold diggers at all, but any girl you are dating will have a rough idea of what you make just through casual observation. If you don't make an effort to impress her on dates or what ever she will eventually start to suspect that it is because you are not as interested in her and she will move on. Also keep in mind that this lifestyle puts you in direct competition with the other guys she is seeing. Some guys will say that they are fine with her being in an open relationship but in reality they can't stand the idea of losing. It's not like when you are in a committed relationship and she is just remembering her ex from years and years ago, if you want to stand out in her life you need to try that much harder.
What I'm willing to bet the joker in your video never out right says is that at a certain point in their lives a lot of women (I would even venture to say most women) would be happy with a poly-amorous relationship, that's if he even realizes it himself, because that would expose his little philosophy for the crock of shit that it really is. Remember, it works both ways so she enjoys all of the same benefits you do with the added benefit of, let's face it, not having to put as much effort into starting a new relationship. I for one am curious about what he says to do when you do find the right women? How do you convince her that you are worth giving up all of the other guys in her life for? I venture that the fact that he is a single, middle aged self proclaimed "Lady's Man" suggests that he has no freaking idea.
@ BHXSpecter: If you reread your own sentence you'll know exactly what DTSCode is saying. In your own example, what you consider to be a real women has been "off the market" so to speak for well over a decade and the fact that you are married shows that she has no intention of reentering the dating scene anytime soon (I'd bet cash that you didn't meet her at some dance club anyway). IIRC you're not that old so let's say you married her in your early to mid twenties showing that these specimens are removed from the dating pool virtually from the start and for extended periods of time. So barring some exceptions that are few and far between, you could say that the ability to go out and meet (as in date) real women is statistically insignificant, or to put it bluntly, a myth.
Okay, I'm trying to keep from getting pissed because of one line in that remark, because I would hope you aren't trying to be a smartass with the dance club comment.
Statistics show that globally women outnumber men. Therefore your argument instead of proving real women are a myth, just gives the picture that too many men suck at meeting women.
I actually had a poly-amorous relationship for a while. I went out with a woman for just over 2 years and then had a poly relationship for the last 18 months (now we are split up but great friends). For a time during that 18 months, I was regularly dating another woman and I can say this. If you date two women at once like this it will cost you money and more importantly it will cost you time.
Also, there are extra considerations to be made. You can't be 'double booked', unless it's a situation where you are all going out as a 3. This means you have to keep pretty well on top of scheduling. I considered it wise to never use a comparative of any sort to either of them about the other. You can also get an unbelievable amount of hassle from idiot people who insist you're using them or that you are in some way being macho dickhead because you have two girlfriends. *roll eyes*
I venture that the fact that he is a single, middle aged self proclaimed "Lady's Man" suggests that he has no freaking idea.
@ BHXSpecter: I don't know you well enough to even begin to understand why you would be upset about the dance club comment. It wasn't meant to be a shot at you or any condition you might have, it's just been my experience that places like that are fine for a one night stand but they are a terrible place to establish a long term relationship. The numbers only "prove" your point if people are universally compatible, they're not. Meeting people isn't hard, meeting people that you can commit to in a relationship is. You need to find someone you are interested in that is also interested in you and who's aspirations are at least partially aligned with yours (you might find it a little difficult to pursue a relationship AND finish college for instance if she wants to spend the next half a decade backpacking in Europe). You should have similar interests and outlooks or maybe just be happy arguing with each other for the rest of your lives.
You don't have to know me well, just have to have good memory as I've been open about my wife's and son's disability. They both are in wheelchairs. Though your reply shows why too many think it is a myth because they have this delusion that the two have to have something in common. Me and my wife, except for our son, have no interests or outlooks in common and we don't argue with each other.
I love programming, my wife thinks it is stupid but supports me in my interest.
I love games, my wife prefers FB games only.
I have no religious preference, my wife is Christian.
I love Metallica, Eminem. Wife hates it and prefers country.
I'm negative about almost everything, she is always positive about everything.
I think the worst about everything, she thinks the best about everything.
I hate to read novels, she loves to read novels.
I read tech books, wife thinks they are like reading radio instructions.
I like to stay home as much as possible, wife likes to go into town as much as she can.
My wife and I are like night and day, but we fell in love with each other and have been happily together for 12 years.
Now I genuinely feel bad about what I wrote. If I had remembered that and for some reason I was actually trying to antagonize you I still don't think I could have made a worse comment. I am sincerely sorry but you still have every reason to be mad me for it.
It's okay. That is why I said I was trying not to get mad. Part of me knew you weren't aiming to make me mad. Just rubbed me wrong and for a good reason. I don't care when people say things about me, but my wife and son are my world so I'm definitely defensive about them.
I'm not saying this stuff out of bitterness of not being able to find a girlfriend or anything, I'm simply reminding people that finding someone seems like a difficult process because it is. I've already started my family, my girlfriend and I are engaged, we have our car and our tiny apartment, we are house hunting (which is at least as difficult as dating by the way so don't think that it's an easy down hill ride after you find some one), we have our daughter and we're quite happy. You might say we did some things in the wrong order but I really don't care.
A woman who is into coding is a rare find.
A woman who is into coding and into men is even more rare.
But a woman who is into coding and into men and hot... well that is the rarest gem of them all and if you are fortunate enough to encounter such a coveted creature, then all you have to do is slay her husband and you might have a shot.
@everyone: didnt mean to spark a fight. i was making a joke more than anything with the pfffttt theyre a myth comment.
@manga: i found one who meets all three conditions. well everyone around me says shes hot but i dont see it :p but if everyone else says it then i guess it counts