Why do we care?
Suppose you have a rare collection of objects that you're looking to sell to one of two buyers. Both will pay the same price no matter what, but one will just destroy the objects after purchasing them. Almost immediately we want to give the objects to the person who will not destroy them, but why do we care? In either case the objects are leaving our possession and will not be seen again (or it is very unlikely).
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I generally do not hold sentimental feelings for objects, so I wouldn't care.
EDIT:
Allow me to qualify that:
I generally do not hold sentimental feelings for objects I'm willing to sell, so I wouldn't care.
If I wouldn't want it to be destroyed, I wouldn't sell it.
EDIT:
Allow me to qualify that:
I generally do not hold sentimental feelings for objects I'm willing to sell, so I wouldn't care.
If I wouldn't want it to be destroyed, I wouldn't sell it.
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If you're selling it means there's a reason more important than your love for the objects.
You don't necessarily have to not care anymore.
You don't necessarily have to not care anymore.
@Disch:
You never had an experience where you had to part with something you loved to make some extra money to pay bills?
| maeriden wrote: |
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| If you're selling it means there's a reason more important than your love for the objects. You don't necessarily have to not care anymore. |
@LB:
When I was living in Berkeley I had to sell my entire NES collection. It was a bummer, but I figured the stuff wasn't mine anymore so whatever. To this day I don't know what the buyer did with the games. If he threw them all into a fire I'd be cool with it -- I got his money.
EDIT:
If I really did care about them... I would have come up with another way to make money.
Note again that I generally don't form sentimental attachments to inanimate objects. So maybe I have had fewer items in my life that I really cared about. Maybe the reason for that and the topic are one and the same. If you don't get attached to your junk, you don't feel sad when you have to get rid of it.
When I was living in Berkeley I had to sell my entire NES collection. It was a bummer, but I figured the stuff wasn't mine anymore so whatever. To this day I don't know what the buyer did with the games. If he threw them all into a fire I'd be cool with it -- I got his money.
EDIT:
If I really did care about them... I would have come up with another way to make money.
Note again that I generally don't form sentimental attachments to inanimate objects. So maybe I have had fewer items in my life that I really cared about. Maybe the reason for that and the topic are one and the same. If you don't get attached to your junk, you don't feel sad when you have to get rid of it.
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First possibility: We are accustomed to trying to take care of our stuff and keep it safe. We are the objects guardian. Even though the object is now leaving our possession, we can't just immediately turn off the protective instinct we have. Subconsciously we probably hope the object is safe with some new guardian, even if it doesn't make rational sense to care from a self centered point of view.
Second possibility: This object has been valuable to you and served you well. You have taken care of it, you have benefited from it, and you think it is a useful and enjoyable object. This person wants to buy it just to destroy it, and that is in a way an insult to your point of view surrounding the object. Maybe this makes you feel small in some strange way. Like if you work hard for your wages, and your boss is using as much money as you make in a month to wipe his ass in the morning.
Third possibility: You think this object has the potential to be of good use or be enjoyable to someone else, and therefore you think the object can make the world a little better of a place. Therefore the buying of the object purely for destruction makes the world a little worse of a place, and you can't support that or a person who would do such a thing.
Last, there is probably some evolutionary instinctual factor. Long ago, tribes depended on their objects, and they weren't so easy to make. Passing down your tools and gear was an essential part of your tribes success and survival. So maybe it's engrained in us somehow.
But sometimes we also want to destroy objects that we don't like ourselves. It's really only the good objects we really care about. For example, I had a car that was a PIA. It overheated, smog leaked into the cab, ... etc. Someone wanted to buy it and fix it up. I wouldn't sell it to them because it didn't seam right. I would rather destroy it myself than sell it or even give it away knowing how much pain it is inevitably going to cause the person I give it to, or the person they pawn it off to dishonestly. To me, this is not about my feelings towards the object, but my not wanting to contribute to another persons torment. Less torment in the world is a good thing right. By the same reasoning, if we really think something is special to bring joy, we feel like we are doing some kind of good deed towards the world by passing this special thing on to others.
And then there are sentimental people too, who have emotional attachments to objects. This is the least rational reason to care, but is still common. This thing mysteriously means something special to them in a non-tangible way, but they have to sell it because they need the money. But they have comfort in the idea that it's still out there. Similar to knowing your loved one is still out there even though they are across the world and you will never see them again.
Second possibility: This object has been valuable to you and served you well. You have taken care of it, you have benefited from it, and you think it is a useful and enjoyable object. This person wants to buy it just to destroy it, and that is in a way an insult to your point of view surrounding the object. Maybe this makes you feel small in some strange way. Like if you work hard for your wages, and your boss is using as much money as you make in a month to wipe his ass in the morning.
Third possibility: You think this object has the potential to be of good use or be enjoyable to someone else, and therefore you think the object can make the world a little better of a place. Therefore the buying of the object purely for destruction makes the world a little worse of a place, and you can't support that or a person who would do such a thing.
Last, there is probably some evolutionary instinctual factor. Long ago, tribes depended on their objects, and they weren't so easy to make. Passing down your tools and gear was an essential part of your tribes success and survival. So maybe it's engrained in us somehow.
But sometimes we also want to destroy objects that we don't like ourselves. It's really only the good objects we really care about. For example, I had a car that was a PIA. It overheated, smog leaked into the cab, ... etc. Someone wanted to buy it and fix it up. I wouldn't sell it to them because it didn't seam right. I would rather destroy it myself than sell it or even give it away knowing how much pain it is inevitably going to cause the person I give it to, or the person they pawn it off to dishonestly. To me, this is not about my feelings towards the object, but my not wanting to contribute to another persons torment. Less torment in the world is a good thing right. By the same reasoning, if we really think something is special to bring joy, we feel like we are doing some kind of good deed towards the world by passing this special thing on to others.
And then there are sentimental people too, who have emotional attachments to objects. This is the least rational reason to care, but is still common. This thing mysteriously means something special to them in a non-tangible way, but they have to sell it because they need the money. But they have comfort in the idea that it's still out there. Similar to knowing your loved one is still out there even though they are across the world and you will never see them again.
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| Less torment in the world is a good thing right. By the same reasoning, if we really think something is special to bring joy, we feel like we are doing some kind of good deed towards the world by passing this special thing on to others. |
What if people get joy out of destroying the object? =P
I dunno... your whole post made it sound like people form emotional attachments to objects like they were their children or something. That seems borderline crazy to me. They're freaking things. Get a grip, people.
Disch, most people do form emotional attachments to objects, even things that aren't real (e.g. characters in movies).
| I dunno... your whole post made it sound like people form emotional attachments to objects like they were their children or something. |
Only the last paragraph had anything to do with emotional attachment.
To summarize, I think the main reasons are:
1) Habit
2) insulting
3) wasteful
4) evolutionary trait / instinct
5) some kind of altruistic tendency
6) emotional attachment
And I though of a new one.
7) spite.
| What if people get joy out of destroying the object? =P |
I guess it depends. Whoever was worried about the object making someone happy would have to be sufficiently convinced that the happiness the destroyer gets is sufficient, and be convinced their happiness is worthwhile, I guess. But I think it would be a hard sell, because once destroyed, it can bring no more happiness.
Maybe another thing, people sometimes imagine/day dream all of this weird stuff, like about where things will end up, what they might be used for etc. It's not that I really care, but maybe it's fun sometimes to wonder. If you know they are going to destroy it, that kind of kills the daydreaming. An example would be like in a film, where the journey of an object is followed as it is passed from person to person.
A related thing that is interesting, is how much we value authentic original items. Often a forger can recreate a painting better than the original artist, but it's not really the art alone we care about, most of it's value comes from some other intangible thing that I can't really understand.
Similarly, people value things like autographs, former possessions of famous people, etc.
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| Disch wrote: |
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| people form emotional attachments to objects like they were their children or something. That seems borderline crazy to me. They're freaking things. Get a grip, people. |
Emotions are weird stuff.
You love something because it had a positive influence on your life. How much you love it depends on various reasons: how big was the influence, how much you value emotions over reason, and surely other stuff. Given this is my point of view, I don't see any difference with the reasons you have for feeling attached to people.
That being said, loving an object like a child (although that's not the meaning I got from htirwin's post) is indeeed abnormal, but being a games collector myself, I guess I could understand the feeling.
On a related note, just today I read that soldiers often give names to their weapons. Also that some people have funeral services for broken explosive ordnance disposal(?) bots. It'd be interesting to hear their take on tha matter.
I wonder if it's related to the general materialistic nature of Americans. We typically like to have "stuff" even if it's not really worth anything.
Though I tend to not be very materialistic... so maybe that's why I don't form such bonds with my things?
Or maybe it's the other way around? Whatever.
If it's remote controlled... then whatever... it's just a tool. Though if it pilots itself with some kind of AI, even if its simplistic, then I could understand... as that is where it starts to approach life-like features, and you can start to actually identify with it.
My mom had a Roomba and I thought it was "cute" the same way I thought our pet cat was cute.
Though I tend to not be very materialistic... so maybe that's why I don't form such bonds with my things?
Or maybe it's the other way around? Whatever.
| Also that some people have funeral services for broken explosive ordnance disposal(?) bots. It'd be interesting to hear their take on tha matter. |
If it's remote controlled... then whatever... it's just a tool. Though if it pilots itself with some kind of AI, even if its simplistic, then I could understand... as that is where it starts to approach life-like features, and you can start to actually identify with it.
My mom had a Roomba and I thought it was "cute" the same way I thought our pet cat was cute.
I hate to admit it but I am rather a materialistic person but in my opinion I don't think it really matters too much what happens unless the item really does hold a lot sentimental value but most people would attempt to find another way to get money. The only case where I think this wouldn't be true is perhaps if the item you're selling is something that you've made yourself and put your own time into making but maybe have absolutely no use for anymore so don't mind seeing it go, however you'd prefer to know that some else has made good use of your work rather than knowing that your work has just been scrapped or melted down (of course this depends what the work item actually is)
It doesn't have to be real objects. What if you get reassigned to work on a different project at your job? I would miss the code.
I can see a greater attachment to pieces that you've actually put effort into such as perhaps a woodcraft item or even a program source because their's always going to be at least a tiny piece of you in their... Even if you're making lots of the same thing to a spec by hand just as many other people may be working on the same thing, their's still going to be something very subtle with it that'll be yours.
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