Joke

[JamesMitchellC1]

Q.Why do most java developers where glasses?




A.Because they cant C#

[Catfish2]

- Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
- (long pause) Java.

- Knock, (long pause) knock.
- Who's there?
- Modern Java.

- Knock, (bell ring), knock, (bell ring)
- Who's there?
- C++.

[chrisname]

- Knock, knock.
- Who's
- (long pause) Java's garbage collector.
- there?

[devonrevenge]

woman stumbles into a police station, shes trembling shes crying her mascaras running her clothes are torn, 'help me' she cries 'IVE BEEN GRAPED'

the cop replies 'you mean youve been raped!?' no she says

'there was a bunch of them'

[3hM2Nwbp]

- Knock, knock
- Who's there?
- Zing
- Zing who? err wait...did you just quadruple in size?
- probably, but I always do have a snappy response.




http://www.azulsystems.com/products/zing/virtual-machine

[chrisname]

- Knock, knock.
- Who's
- C#'s garbage collector C#'s garbage collector C#'s garbage collector C#'s garbage collector C#'s garbage collector C#'s garbage collector C#'s garbage collector C#'s garbage collector C#'s garbage collector C#'s garbage collector C#'s garbage collector C#'s garbage collector C#'s garbage collector C#'s garbage collector C#'s garbage collector C#'s garbage collector
- there?

[Catfish2]

- Knock, knock.
- Who's
- C++ exception.

[chrisname]

- Knock (long pause), knock (long pause).
- Who's (long pause) there (long pause)?
- (long pause) Python (long pause) exception.

[Catfish2]

- Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
joke.cpp: In instantiation of 'void CppTemplate<Door>::sayName(const Door&) const [with Door = Door]':
joke.cpp:46:18: required from here
joke.cpp:22:3: error: invalid user-defined conversion from 'volatile char [12]' to 'const string& {aka const std::basic_string<char>&}' [-fpermissive]
In file included from c:\mingw\bin\../lib/gcc/i686-pc-mingw32/4.7.2/../../../../include/c++/4.7.2/string:54:0,
from c:\mingw\bin\../lib/gcc/i686-pc-mingw32/4.7.2/../../../../include/c++/4.7.2/bits/locale_classes.h:42,
from c:\mingw\bin\../lib/gcc/i686-pc-mingw32/4.7.2/../../../../include/c++/4.7.2/bits/ios_base.h:43,
from c:\mingw\bin\../lib/gcc/i686-pc-mingw32/4.7.2/../../../../include/c++/4.7.2/ios:43,
from c:\mingw\bin\../lib/gcc/i686-pc-mingw32/4.7.2/../../../../include/c++/4.7.2/ostream:40,
from c:\mingw\bin\../lib/gcc/i686-pc-mingw32/4.7.2/../../../../include/c++/4.7.2/iterator:64,
from joke.cpp:1:
c:\mingw\bin\../lib/gcc/i686-pc-mingw32/4.7.2/../../../../include/c++/4.7.2/bits/basic_string.h:487:7: note: candidate is: std::basic_string<_CharT, _Traits, _Alloc>::basic_string(const _CharT*, const _Alloc&) [with _CharT = char; _Traits = std::char_traits<char>; _Alloc = std::allocator<char>] <near match>
c:\mingw\bin\../lib/gcc/i686-pc-mingw32/4.7.2/../../../../include/c++/4.7.2/bits/basic_string.h:487:7: note: no known conversion for argument 1 from 'volatile char [12]' to 'const char*'
joke.cpp:22:3: error: taking address of temporary array
joke.cpp:22:3: error: invalid conversion from '<type error>' to 'const char*' [-fpermissive]
In file included from c:\mingw\bin\../lib/gcc/i686-pc-mingw32/4.7.2/../../../../include/c++/4.7.2/string:54:0,
from c:\mingw\bin\../lib/gcc/i686-pc-mingw32/4.7.2/../../../../include/c++/4.7.2/bits/locale_classes.h:42,
from c:\mingw\bin\../lib/gcc/i686-pc-mingw32/4.7.2/../../../../include/c++/4.7.2/bits/ios_base.h:43,
from c:\mingw\bin\../lib/gcc/i686-pc-mingw32/4.7.2/../../../../include/c++/4.7.2/ios:43,
from c:\mingw\bin\../lib/gcc/i686-pc-mingw32/4.7.2/../../../../include/c++/4.7.2/ostream:40,
from c:\mingw\bin\../lib/gcc/i686-pc-mingw32/4.7.2/../../../../include/c++/4.7.2/iterator:64,
from joke.cpp:1:
c:\mingw\bin\../lib/gcc/i686-pc-mingw32/4.7.2/../../../../include/c++/4.7.2/bits/basic_string.h:487:7: error: initializing argument 1 of 'std::basic_string<_CharT, _Traits, _Alloc>::basic_string(const _CharT*, const _Alloc&) [with _CharT = char; _Traits = std::char_traits<char>; _Alloc = std::allocator<char>]' [-fpermissive]

[chrisname]

- $n=2;while($n-->0){$i=0;$s='knock';foreach$c($s){print$c;}($n==0)?print".\n":print", ";}
- Who's there?
-

sub f{sprintf$_[0],$_[1],$_[2]}print f('%c%s',74,f('%c%s',117,f('%c%s',115,f(
'%c%s',116,f('%c%s',32,f('%c%s',97,f('%c%s',0x6e,f('%c%s',111,f('%c%s',116,f(
'%c%s',104,f('%c%s',0x65,f('%c%s',114,f('%c%s',32,f('%c%s',80,f('%c%s',101,f(
'%c%s',114,f('%c%s',0x6c,f('%c%s',32,f('%c%s',0x48,f('%c%s',97,f('%c%s',99,f(
'%c%s',107,f('%c%s',101,f('%c%s',114,f('%c%s',10,)))))))))))))))))))))))))

[LB]

-Knock Knock
-Who's there?
-

:(
Your PC ran into a problem and needs to restart. We're just
collecting some error info, and then we'll restart for you. (0%
complete)

If you'd like to know more, you can search online later for this error: KNOCK_KNOCK_JOKE_FAILED

[ResidentBiscuit]

@catfish, I hope you typed all that yourself :P


This one makes me chuckle every time. Silly windows, no need to lie.
http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/12/27/9bc22d0d-b2bf-4528-914a-8187e4df5689.jpg

[zb0S216C]

try
{
    "Knock Knock";
    "Who's there?";
    "(void dereference)";
    "Hello?";
    "Damn bobber-knockers!";
}

catch( JokeFailure & )
{
    CPlusPlus.LogOut( );
}

_Wazzak

[Catfish2]

- Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
- Dijkstra.
- Go to somewhere else.
- Neeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[LB]

@Catfish2 I don't understand, I thought he strongly disliked BASIC?

[Catfish2]

@ LB: it's just a lame joke about the use of "go to" irritating Dijkstra. And "ne" is Dutch for "no".

[Disch]

I think Catfish wins this thread with his joke.cpp compiler error post.

[o1vk4iN6]

@LB

lol, I know some people that don't like the change of the BSOD window as it now doesn't give any information of what actually caused it. You just a complimentary sad face smiley and hope for the best.

[LB]

Yeah, it should at least have a "press enter for extended error information" to get info equivalent to the original. Must be a pain for hardware developers.

[1yR4jE8b]

I know some people that don't like the change of the BSOD window as it now doesn't give any information of what actually caused it.

Yeah, because BAD_MEMORY_KERNEL_DUMP or whatever is totally useful error message for my grandma.