Joke

[iseeplusplus]

goto houseParty;

girlsNightIn:
cout << "Never the wrong time, for the right wine.";
goto yellowTail; 

jokersWild: 
cout << "I just love that kangaroo.";
goto girlsNightIn;

temptation:
cout << "I'll have the Yellow Tail, I'll have the Yellow Tail.";
goto jokersWild;

houseParty: 
goto tempation;

yellowTail:
cout << "Yellow Tail; the goto of wine.  Avoid it.";

[Filiprei]

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.”

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”


I found this very funny! :)
source: http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/
Its a really nice site with funny programming jokes :D

[Luc Lieber]

Actually makes a lot of sense...

http://www.sucs.swan.ac.uk/~cmckenna/humour/computer/god.html

[Raezzor]

Lol Fili, really enjoyed that link. This little tidbit had me rolling though:

Software Development Cycles

Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren’t really bugs.
Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn’t work and discovers 15 new bugs.
Repeat three times steps 3 and 4.
Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
Users find 137 new bugs.
Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires a programmer to redo program from scratch.
Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free…

[L B]

With a working program to base it off of you generally get fewer bugs in the long run, though.

[Filiprei]

Yea I also love that compilation of jokes :) Other than that there is some funny declarations:
register voters;
static electricity;
struct by_lightning;
case closed:
double or_nothing;
short sighted;
huge penis;

And this is kinda funny :P
men()
{
goto pub;
pub:
return pissed;
}

women()
{
goto bathroom;
bathroom:
while (1) ;
}

This is some of my favorite I have seen :)

[byronflds]

A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”

The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”

The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millenia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”

The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”

At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”


and:

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”

To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”

[Script Coder]

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.”

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”

[Catfish2]

*** NEWS FLASH ***

Archeologists find PDP-11/24 inside brain cavity of fossilized dinosaur
skeleton! Many Digital users fear that RSX-11M may be even more primitive
than DEC admits. Price adjustments at 11:00.

[L B]

byronflds wrote:

To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”

Wrong. Warnings are the compiler's way of telling you that you might, perchance, be shooting yourself in the foot. You should check your code carefully and only disable the warning for that particular code segment if you know for a fact this is the behavior you want.

[Catfish2]

Good God, LB, it's a joke! In a joke thread. Titled "Joke".

[L B]

It wasn't funny though >:(

[ne555]

http://www.sandraandwoo.com/2012/11/19/0430-software-engineering-now-with-cats/

[Filiprei]

Script Coder, I told that already ^^