Girls are unfair.....

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So why is it that my girl friend can get pissed off at me and tell me all the things I do wrong a million times a day and i cant say anything back or have an opinion or els "I'm not being respectful" but the second I get am at her maybe once ever month she goes ape shit and I'm the bad guy?. Any other men have this problem if so how should I deal with this ?
Question, I have a few.

One, why post that here?
Two, why make an alt account to post that here? (assuming you're already a user on this forum)
closed account (zb0S216C)
Well, you asked, so you're going to get an honest opinion:

It has occurred to me that She was possibly raised in an environment where She was "always right". If this is the case then you're in for a ride. You need to somehow convince Her that what she says isn't always right. The problem with this is that people -- irrespective of age -- don't like to told they're wrong; not explicitly, anyway. In addition, it also sounds to me that She doesn't value your opinions and that She is controlling your relationship; dominant, in fact.

Wazzak
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Or, maybe, you really do a lot of wrong things...
closed account (zwA4jE8b)
+1 for Eliijaah, It is true, most men/boys seem to be oblivious to a girls emotional needs. But she could just be a bitch. Reflect on the things you've said/done to her and try to put yourself in her shoes. How would you have felt?

:P
Well seeing as I've been married for 9 years and with my wife 11 years I can say that we are only getting one side of the story. You are probably painting yourself as a great guy and in truth you could be a complete asshole. Normally women don't have a reason to treat guys like shit unless they were hurt severely by a guy in the past or is being hurt by you. Now she could be a bitch, but chances are that if she is treating you like shit, then it is probably because you are treating her like shit too.
I'm with Framework on this one. Some people are just assholes. It's true that, to a large extent, people's personalities are shaped by their experience and the way that others treat them, but not every bully has a backstory as a victim. Quite often narcissistic assholes have parents that constantly praised them and didn't understand that children need boundaries and punishments to develop into balanced and emotionally whole adults. They end up with an inflated sense of self-esteem and entitlement which leads to something like what the OP is dealing with. People also grow up being taught that men can never hit a woman and suchlike, and some girls get an undeserved sense of superiority over men from that.

@Framework
Why do you keep capitalising "she"? The only time I've ever seen the third-person personal pronoun capitalised was when referring to the divine, which she probably isn't (even if she thinks she is).
closed account (o1vk4iN6)
Once a month eh ? That's a familiar pattern, just agree with her.
Give the dog a bone, that usually calms them down, if its the wrong time of the month avoid all communication. some tribes send there woman to a different part of the village when this happens.

You got to convince her shes acting like a freak if she is, if you suggest counseling for example shes gonna have to stop and ask herself if she needs it rather than tell you that your being disrespectful.
tell her that you think she may be suffering from some serious side effects from the wrong contraceptive pill, if you make her feel like a psycho when shes being a psycho she might try and work things out for herself...

think of it as girl programing.

you know the basics dont you? if you got a headache she has its worse and she is so hard that she never cared to mention it before.

if shes ill or finding something difficult she wants sympathy and not a solution.

chocolate also absorbs 50% of pent up girl aggression



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closed account (zb0S216C)
chrisname wrote:
"The only time I've ever seen the third-person personal pronoun capitalised was when referring to the divine, which she probably isn't (even if she thinks she is)."

At least someone understood the [implicit] joke :)

devonrevenge wrote:
"think of it as girl programing.

you know the basics dont you? if you got a headache she has its worse and she is so hard that she never cared to mention it before."

Dafuq?

Wazzak
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all girls are iller than us if we are ever ill, i never understood it but tell a girl you have x issue and she has x issue +1

try it, even on your mum, its pretty uncanny and its a rule, its never normaly broken
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closed account (zb0S216C)
@devonrevenge: It's not safe to assume a women will always have more problems than a man. While women are more prone to some illnesses such as depression, you simply can't say that person X will always have more problems than person Y if person X is a women. For instance, I [a man] have far more problems in my life in comparison to my sister. Furthermore, my friend [a women] has more problems in her life than my other friend [a male].

You're being black & white about what could be a potentially sensitive subject.

Wazzak
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no you dont understand, you heard of man flu? this is the idea that men are drama queens when it comes to having a cold, this is a female construct of how 'pathetic' us men are when were ill, its very common, theres something on psychology on it, im looking now.

go find a woman who is fine and tell her you have a headache, wether shes a stranger or your best friend the answers are 10% poor you and 90% oh i have had X for ages now.

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When it comes to relationships like this you have two choices

1. Put your tail between your legs and accept that she is going to control what you do

2. Stand up for yourself and tell her that if things don't change, you will leave.

Sit her down, tell her straight up what your problems with the relationship are, and stop taking her shit. If she doesn't change and you continue to be unhappy then leave her. Sometimes it just takes that threat of leaving for them to realize what they are taking for granted. Sometimes they aren't willing to change for you in which case the relationship probably won't work.

Now, this has to be give and take. she may counter with problems she sees in you. But it looks as if this is already happening. Ask yourself whether or not you are willing to change what she wants you to change as well. Sometimes she just isn't worth it in the end.

Finally, be a man, man.
closed account (zb0S216C)
devonrevenge wrote:
"go find a woman who is fine and tell her you have a headache, wether shes a stranger or your best friend the answers are 10% poor you and 90% oh i have had X for ages now."

That applies only to the men who actually complain about their illness. Only attention seekers complain about their illness. Again, you're being black & white and over generalising all males to being wimps when it comes to illnesses. I had the flu a few weeks ago and I never uttered a sound to anyone.

You're actually being sexist to both sexes.

Wazzak
closed account (o1vk4iN6)
Framework wrote:
I had the flu a few weeks ago and I never uttered a sound to anyone.


My hero.
so men who complain about their illness are atention seekers, even if they merely mention it and im too black and white? mr framwork, you never uttered a sound to anyone? big woop well done arnt you brave this statement only reenforces your over use of pathos as your argument.


Its not sexist to point out your personal observation of apparent inequality, sexism is far more a complex issue, much much more complex than observed psychology, what i discover while searching is that saying you have something worse is hypochondria, hypochondria is a form of anxiety, anxiety illnesses especially hypochondria is a lot more present in women than men for a start .

most interesting is that you've decided that IM sexist and not mentioned anything about anyone elses comments.

lastly its fine to complain about your wife and being ill, its actually healthy to gossip and studies say that it produces hormones that keep people stable and happy, its designed to strengthen social groups.

but most importantly why so serious mr framework?

i would also like to say that im qualified to talk about these things, i have a degree in girls.

having been raised by a single mother and my five sisters (im the only boy) and i always liked roaming the country side with devons finest feral girl beasts all the way up until i moved to the south east to practice my knowledge of women on the unsuspecting girl public with excellent week to 1 nightstand ratio, i eventually settled down after feeling dead inside.
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closed account (zb0S216C)
xerzi wrote:
"My hero."

Nothing sarcastic about that.

devonrevenge wrote:
"so men who complain about their illness are atention seekers, even if they merely mention it"

That depends how they come across. If I said to somebody that I had the flu in way that was boastful or complaining, it'd be considered attention seeking because that person would be actively seeking sympathy for their illness; it's not just men that do this -- I've encountered my fair share of women who seek attention 24/7; my aunt being one of them.

devonrevenge wrote:
"and im too black and white?"

You're being black & white, not you're black & white.

devonrevenge wrote:
"mr framwork"

Unofficially, yes.

devonrevenge wrote:
"you never uttered a sound to anyone? big woop well done arnt you brave this statement only reenforces your over use of pathos as your argument."

I was speaking figuratively -- I did speak, but I did not complain about my illness; I just gave it no thought and let it pass.

devonrevenge wrote:
"Its not sexist to point out your personal observation of apparent inequality, sexism is far more a complex issue, much much more complex than observed psychology"

Observing is not a sexist act, but generalising women by saying that always have more problems than men is a sexist remark and generalising men by saying all men are attention seekers is once again a sexist remark.

devonrevenge wrote:
"most interesting is that you've decided that IM sexist and not mentioned anything about anyone elses comments."

Because no-one else generalised women and men like you did. Everybody else gave advice that could be used. But you, you just gave advice that was probably disrespectful to Doggysgomeow by calling his girlfriend a psycho.

devonrevenge wrote:
"but most importantly why so serious mr framework?"

Because I'm personally offended by your remarks, especially your "advice".

devonrevenge wrote:
"i would also like to say that im qualified to talk about these things, i have a degree in girls."

Is that supposed to be your pick-up line? If so, I'd trade it in for something less pathetic. Seriously, there's no such thing.

devonrevenge wrote:
"i always liked roaming the country side with devons finest feral girl beasts all the way up until i moved to the south east to practice my knowledge of women on the unsuspecting girl public with excellent week to 1 nightstand ratio, i eventually settled down after feeling dead inside."

I'm getting a strong impression that you're a creepy stalker. And "week to 1 night-stand ratio"? That's nothing to be proud of. Did you ever stop to consider that the women who you had a one-night stand with? Just plain disrespectful.

Wazzak
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Framework wrote:
Observing is not a sexist act, but generalising women by saying that always have more problems than men is a sexist remark and generalising men by saying all men are attention seekers is once again a sexist remark.


In my experience "sexism", "racism", "etc-ism" is almost always based on hard statistical evidence supporting it. Just because the numbers hurt someone's feelings does not invalidate the correlations...and pretending that it does (in my opinion) is far worse than being labeled a "X-ist". Of course, one could always use the "x-profiling" sugar coated terminology to mask what's really going on when one of these sensitive statistics is used for some purpose.

That's enough playing the devil's advocate for me in this thread.
k guys was just playing but im clearly surrounded by far more mature people than i was expecting, i dont like offending people so im sorry to have offended,

its common to talk about men and women, we've all heard someone sigh and say women this or men that isnt a big deal, im hardly a really misguided misogynist, perhaps you should man up a touch.
this is neither the time nor place for such talk however and i wont be making stupid generalizations even for fun.



as for the one night stand ladies they had something to prove too, its a cultural thing over there and i was equally disposable i imagine the culture their would really shock someone like you.

the girl to week ratio was something i kept track of sadly, i was gonna say i was just joshing, but i dont care for some reason.

thanks for correcting my english too (seriously) its important here and i dont want to be completely excommunicated.

the feminism statistic thing was a knee jerk thing, i wont remove it, people shouldn't hide mistakes.





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