### School choice problem

Hello.

I'm 18 years old and I've been using the computer since my childhood and started programming at the age of 13 or 14.
I was thinking alot about my future and decided that I would like to be a programmer in the future.
My main language is C++ but I'm learning also different languages.

The problem is... I have complications with Math and logical thinking.
It's actually very hard to describe the problem I have. It's not that I would be completely stupid.
I always feared what other people will think about me and that the problem is a big shame.
I have problems with really simple things , simple math for example. I get nervous , check always my answer and I'm never sure of it being correct...
I just don't trust myself and can get nervous and take more time by something like 534-48, I don't know why...
It's been already a long time, this problem is haunting me since my childhood, it could have something to do with the fact that I have or had ( but I think you can never get rid off it ) OCD since my childhood.
In not even 2 years I have to choose a university and as much as I would like to study being a programmer, I don't feel like having a chance.
I'm getting sad, depressed, angry and sometimes I just wish I wouldn't wake up the next day.
For example, today at school we made a two-dimensional array , filled it with random numbers and then get the total sum of the columns and rows... The number of columns and rows were same. I made 2 more arrays , every array being the sum of column 1 , 2 etc. and the second one for row 1 , 2 etc.
Now I had a for cycle where I print out the values of the array itself and wanted to get the sum in that cycle too ( basically 2 cycles ofcourse, 1 inside the other ).
And I was thinking such a long time about something like THIS ! I figured it out in the end but it took me a long time. This happens not always, but lots of times.
I really have that feeling that my mind just freezes and is confusing me.
I don't have problems with the language itself, I understand things in programming and I try to learn properly everything, I had no problems with things like classes, pointers , etc.
Besides that I'm not good at logic or math doesn't mean that I hate both of them. I actually like math and understand what we learn at school.
People tell me that I should practice. But how ? I seriously don't know. How can I break this 'slow thinking' ?
I don't know what should I do... And when I ask people around me it's useless, they say always the same and don't help me, besides that they think "Well it's about computers, I don't understand computers" and don't know what I mean.

I don't know what to do, programming is my dream but I don't feel suited for it... I need to get rid off the 'slow thinking' problem in the first place.
Sorry for my English, It is not my native language...

Beyond your confidence problems, how do you do in math tests and the like? People who do well in exams having no confidence in their math skills isn't all that uncommon.

As for the "slow thinking" part, that's not in itself a problem if you plan to pursue a career in software development. Neither computer science nor mathematics are a game of speed chess. Except in very specialized circles, making a relatively correct program is more important than making it quickly.
Well, in tests I don't get the worst grade if I understand it, even if I didn't learn or practice a bit for it I don't get an 5 ( Worst grade here ).
But what is common for me is that I make misstakes out of being nervous and not paying enough attention to some problems and get a grade of either 2 or 3.
Also after the test is graded I see what I've done wrong and understand my misstakes.
closed account (3qX21hU5)
People will always tell you that you should just give up, they do this because usually they are jealous of you or your abilities. Don't listen to them if you like to do something and want to do it professionally go for it I say. It will take hard work and dedication but if you can do that there is nothing stopping you.

Programming isn't a race to see who can finish fastest. Like helios said it is more important to have a program that works correctly then a program that was done in a hour that doesn't. Math is a big thing in programming but from what you have said you don't seem to have problems with math itself. You just second guess yourself and your abilities.

I'm not a psychologist so I'm not sure I can help with your confidence problems, but I will tell you this. Anyone can do anything they want to if they put enough time, effort, hard work, and they are motivated to do it. So never give up on your dream in life, because in the end you will regret it if you do.