What's the difference between a duck?

[z05DSL3A]

One of it's legs are both the same -- especially the right one.

[Dy7SLyTq]

one has feathers

[Dy7SLyTq]

http://michaelbluejay.com/humor/jokes.html

[Disch]

Despite that page explaining the duck joke in detail, I still don't get it.

[Script Coder]

I do not get those jokes at all. I might sound like a noob for saying it, but it is true. Would someone please tell me how they could be funny?

[3qX21hU5]

I'm in the same boat and don't get it either.

[Dy7SLyTq]

this guy really wanted to ask this girl to prom, so he did and she said yes. he wanted the night to be perfect, so he went to go rent a limo. the only problem was that it was a super long line, but he wanted the night to be perfect, so he waited and waited and finally rented a limo. then he went to the tuxedo shop. once again one of the longest lines hed seen. but he wanted the night to be great so he waited and waited and waited, and finally got the tux. then he went to a floral shop, to buy flowers. the line was so long, it was out the door. he wanted the night to be the greatest ever, so he waited and waited and waited and finally got his flowers. come the night of the prom, everythings going smoothly, but then his date says "can you get me some punch?". so he turns around, and theres no punch line!

edit: came up with a second joke after i posted this...
vista

[Disch]

Q: How do you titillate an ocelot?

A: You oscillate its tit a lot

[S G H]

May this help you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6nSOgsI_vo

[Disch]

One time a friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, and I said no. But then I thought... I want a regular banana later. So I said yeah.

---

A friend asked me "Hey man, isn't time weird?".

So I said.... "Maybe it's not time that's weird, but maybe it's just our perception of time that's weird."

But what I should have said was... "Yeah".

[ResidentBiscuit]

Did this joke originate from Postal? Or was that just the first place I'd heard it in?

[ModShop]

A baby seal walked into a club
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
_{That was the joke}

[twiggystardust]

A guy walks into a bar


he says ouch!

[N36fSL3A]

I don't understand the OP.

[z05DSL3A]

Lumpkin wrote:

I don't understand the OP.

It is an anti-joke, there is nothing to understand.

[Dy7SLyTq]

your momma's so fat that your father is no longer sexually attracted to her and their marriage is in trouble

[LB]

How many licks does it take to get to?


It depends on the voltage.

[N36fSL3A]

I don't understand the anti-joke though.

"Your momma's so fat she wears big clothes!"

[Computergeek01]

"There are two types of people in this world; those who can tolerate incomplete statements..."

[Script Coder]

Gordon Ramsey: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Young Chef: Why?
Gordon Ramsey: Because you didn't fucking cook it properly >:|

What is brown and sticky?
A stick.

What is pink and slippery?
A slipper.

What is green, goes whoosh, whoosh and then is red?
A frog in a blender.

How does a blonde kill a fish?
She drowns it.

How does a blonde kill a bird?
She throws it off a cliff.

These are way more funny.