Funny C++ Jokes! Share yours

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When they were talking about classes and inheriting, this came along.

"That way, you have kept encapsulation. (Only A can play with it's 
privates, B cannot)."

I thought it was funny.
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If A has friends then they can play with A's privates as well.
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C++, where your pointers dangle and friends get to play with your private members.
mind* minds = (mind*) gutter.get_out("Male cplusplus forum members");

I know, that code is evil. Hush. :)

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What happens when the male mind is NULL Alby?
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Lol it only gets better and better. Maybe one day when you want to teach kids C++, you can say something like "Remember kids, you want to keep encapsulation. Only A can play with it's privates, B cannot, unless B is a friend of A then it can play with A's privates as well. C++, where your pointers dangle and friends get to play with your private members.

Albatross lol i don't get that code but its probably cuz im still a beginner
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To understand recursion.
You must first understand recursion.
C++; // makes C bigger, returns old value
lol nice one Zortis.

Cartfish, I don't really get that . could u explain ur joke? haha
What happens when the male mind is NULL?

Disaster may happen if you try and use it.
Not specifically a C++ joke but this always puts a smile on my face
Not C++ but...

A computer science student is studying under a tree and another pulls up on a flashy new bike. The first student asks, “Where’d you get that?”

The student on the bike replies, “While I was studying outside, a beautiful girl pulled up on her bike. She took off all her clothes and said, ‘You can have anything you want’.”

The first student responds, “Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn’t have fit you.”
If the male mind is NULL, then although there would probably be some problems trying to use it, it would make for a very interesting research paper.;)

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Yawn, sexism.

// cure for C++'s STD
#define virgin std 

Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

edit: Programming is a lot like sex. One mistake and you're providing support for a lifetime.
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Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, “Are you ill?”
The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”
Q: How many Pentium engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 0.999854313, but that's close enough.
Not exactly C++, but somewhat related:

"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
*very long pause*

A programmer walks to the butcher shop and buys a kilogram of meat. An hour later he comes back upset that the butcher shortchanged him by 24 grams.

There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don’t.

How many programers dose it take to change a light bulb?
None – It’s a hardware problem.

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!”

To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”

Have you heard about the new Cray super computer? It’s so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.

Why computers are like men:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

Why computers are like women:

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
Spot the problem(s) with the following statement, which is often propagated by die-hard C fans:
C > C++; returns true!


EDIT: @ModShop:
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his post was copy-pasted from a website. just google programmer jokes, it shouldn't take long to find everything he posted.
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