• Forum
  • Lounge
  • Programmer Jokes: Is it really that obvi

Programmer Jokes: Is it really that obvious?

I already know I'm dumb in regards to jokes, but someone told me this joke was obvious (later it was explained to me), but I wanted to know.

A mother said to her programmer son, "While you're out, buy some bread."Her son never came home.
I got it.
Really? I didn't, as soon as I read it I started thinking the programmer stereotype of always on the computer, no tan, never go in public so I just didn't get it. The topic also was "programmer jokes" which made me think of the person doing the code, if the topic had been "programming jokes" I may have had a different mind set and caught it, but either way wasn't all that funny to me.

Though a reply I got for not getting the joke was an interesting parallel to come up with:
Frankly, this is a reason why you shouldn't be a programmer, you don't even get programmer jokes!
Last edited on by closed account z6A9GNh0
No, it's not very funny, but I thought it was kinda obvious: while (out) { buy(bread); } is an infinite loop.

Worse than just not getting a joke is when you get it, but it's not funny, so you think you missed it. Then you say you didn't get it, but it turns out you did get it, and it just wasn't funny. So disappointing.
I also got it immediately.
It was pretty obvious to me. :-)

But then I'd been scanning though various cplusplus.com posting just before I came across the joke, so I guess I was more attuned to program flow references than usual.
Last edited on
Nicked from a "Programmer jokes" thread on Allegro site

A wife asks her husband, a computer programmer; “Could you please go to the store for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!”A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.The wife asks him, “Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?”He replied, “They had eggs.”


(As one one post in the thread I nicked the joke from asked, did he bring back the correct number of cartons?)
Last edited on
Seems to me like the husband should have came home with either one carton of milk and six eggs, or seven cartons of milk depending on the context.
Yeah, that is the allegro thread I was talking about. Does seem like a stretch though that I was told (I'm Specter Phoenix on there) that because I didn't get it I shouldn't be programming. Never realized a sense of humor was required for programming :-/.
Last edited on by closed account z6A9GNh0
Are you sure the husband was a programmer and not a linguist?
BHXSpecter wrote:
Never realized a sense of humor was required for programming

If you thought that joke was funny, you have no sense of humor.
No, I prefer George Carlin, Jeff Dunham, Chris Rock, Terry Fator, Eddie Murphy, Bill Cosby, etc.
Good man. The people over on the Allegro forums have no sense of humor...
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?
A: Because he didn’t get arrays.

Found at
Last edited on
Here's a good old one:

Why do programmers mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC
closed account (zwA4jE8b)
I alsways appreciate these lists

 You shoot yourself in the foot.

 You accidentally create a dozen clones of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can’t tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying, “That’s me, over there.”

 After importing java.awt.right.foot.* and java.awt.gun.right.hand.*, and writing the classes and methods of those classes needed, you’ve forgotten what the hell you’re doing.

 Your foot is ready to be shot in roughly five minutes, but you just can’t find anywhere to shoot it.

 You shoot yourself in the foot with a gun made with pieces from 300 other guns.

 Find a gun, it falls apart. Put it back together, it falls apart again. You try using the .GUN Framework, it falls apart. You stab yourself in the foot instead.

 SELECT @ammo:=bullet FROM gun WHERE trigger = ‘PULLED’;
 INSERT INTO leg (foot) VALUES (@ammo);

 You shoot yourself in the foot, but nobody can understand how you did it. Six months later, neither can you. (via Andy)

 YOu’ve perfected a robust, rich user experience for shooting yourself in the foot. You then find that bullets are disabled on your gun.

 You shoot your right foot with one hand, then switch hands to shoot your left foot but you realize that the gun has turned into a banana.

 You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no exception-handling ability.

 After realizing that you can’t actually accomplish anything in this language, you shoot yourself in the head.

 Using a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER. on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied.

 You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
 you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
 you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
 you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
 you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds ….

 Shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On big systems, continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.

 Foot in yourself shoot.

 You shoot yourself in the foot, then spend all day figuring out how to do it in fewer characters.

 The compiler won’t let you shoot yourself in the foot.

 If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot.
 If you fail, shoot yourself in the right foot.

Concurrent Euclid
 You shoot yourself in somebody else’s foot.

 Put the first bullet of the gun into the foot of the left leg of you.
 Answer the result.

 You spend days writing a UIL description of your foot, the trajectory, the bullet, and the intricate scrollwork on the ivory handles of the gun. When you finally get around to pulling the trigger, the gun jams.

I don't get most of them but still find it hilarious
Last edited on
I got the first joke almost imediately...you know this means we are all geeks too:P
I got the first joke right away. Pretty obvious.

@Creative, That's pretty good lol. Only seen a few of those before
Topic archived. No new replies allowed.