Programmer jokes

[48bpfSEw]

A programmer is going to the grocery store and his wife tells him, "Buy a gallon of milk, and if there are eggs, buy a dozen." So the programmer goes, buys everything, and drives back to his house. Upon arrival, his wife angrily asks him, "Why did you get 12 gallons of milk?" The programmer says, "There were eggs!"

[z05DSL3A]

A Foo walks into a Bar, takes a look around and says "Hello World!"

[E0p9LyTq]

Q: How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist?

A: An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.

Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!

[E0p9LyTq]

All programmers are playwrights, and all computers are lousy actors.

[E0p9LyTq]

“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”

[E0p9LyTq]

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None – It’s a hardware problem

[cire]

Yet another joke thread...
http://www.cplusplus.com/forum/lounge/172414/#msg857598

[1vD3vCM9]

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

[Leo Mingo]

John gazes on his computer screen, the program`s bugged up
----"Why the heck does it work? , weird..."

John gazes on his computer screen, the program`s running well
----"Why the heck does it work? , weird..."

View my Facebook`s albums, I`ve collected a fair amount of funny pics related to programmers :)
https://www.facebook.com/leo.mingo.982/photos?

[ivanr]

java: did you know that c++ isn't a true oop language.
its a procedural language with classes.

c++: those classes cover the full range of the definition of an oop language.
what features can you list that cannot be represented effectively in c++.

java: well nothing, but c++ doesn't implement the "extends" keyword.

c++: well thanks to your granpa "c" we can sort this out for you:

<code>
#define extends :public


class A
{

};

class B extends A
{

};
</code>

sorted now???

java: see fake "extends" keyword as well as fake classes.

c++: you were created from me.
so saying my classes are fake is like saying your dad has no dick.
so then maybe you were a test tube experiment, which would explain why you are so screwed up.

[TheIdeasMan]

void fast_function() {
// the key to making code fast is to
// to have it do as little
// as possible. This function 
// should be well optimised :+)
// Well a no-op at least
}