What happened to the jokes?
| Blitz Coder (90) |  |
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I remember there was once such a thread... since it seems to be lost, I am starting a new one! I start with the CIA CIA: Computer Industry Acronyms CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms ISDN: It Still Does Nothing SCSI: System Can’t See It MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed DOS: Defunct Operating System WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too PnP: Plug and Pray APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity IBM: I Blame Microsoft MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse. WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well. | |
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| chrisname (5896) | |
| Lol; some of those were pretty good, especially the last one, because it's true. Virtually every "WYSIWYG" editor is really a "WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW" editor >:( | |
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| Blitz Coder (90) | |
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http://www.sucs.swan.ac.uk/~cmckenna/humour/computer/god.html http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/ http://atom.smasher.org/error/gallery/ http://rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_programming.shtml http://www.fullduplex.org/humor/2006/10/how-to-shoot-yourself-in-the-foot-in-any-programming-language/ those are all links to some of the best coding jokes I have found. The last two should be avoided while drinking soda/coffee :P | |
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| Blitz Coder (90) | |
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The programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can't find a girlfriend with a good <HEAD> on her <BODY>, reason 0 being that he has limited cache. So often he searches his memory to recall connecting to the TCP/IP tunnel of his last girlfriend -- sometimes even without a secure socket. His last girlfriend always complained about his lack of comments. He fumed, "I hate commenting!" Realizing it was a program requirement, he told her she had nice bits. This resulted in a Syntax Error. Now she demanded a massage but this was rejected as "Feature Creep." He smacked her back-end and shouted, "Who's your parent node?!" He scanned for open ports. He attempted to install a backdoor worm but her response was 403. While his data uploaded into her input device, she considered terminating the process. But instead she initiated a Do While loop where she recalled a previous boyfriend with a larger pointer. To expedite the routine routine, she screamed, "Hack into my system! Hack deep into my system! You're 1337, baby!" This caused his stack to overflow and he shot his GUI on her interface | |
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| Seraphimsan (954) | |
| This last scenario is impossible. No Programmer is capable of finding a gf :B | |
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| firedraco (5413) | |
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****...so true... | ||
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| Incubbus (675) | |
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what a pity:P... c++ = your gf... ever cheated with ur IDE?... | |
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| Blitz Coder (90) | |
| even if my c++ gf did cheat with my IDE, its ok because I can kill the IDE and not get in any trouble for it :P | |
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| chrisname (5896) | |
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:( | |||||
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| Seraphimsan (954) | |
| Don't feel bad chris, you'll always have the best god damn girlfriend you can ever ask for. She always does exactly what you tell her to do, even to a fault. She's smart, witty, funny, and loves playing videogames, she also loves it when you play arround with I/O ports, so long as you don't touch the wrong cable. Yup, the computer is the best girlfriend a programmer could ever ask for. hell, I have 3 of them and not a single one of them gets jealous of the others. Especially not the one I put in the kitchen. where she will stay, just like she belongs. | |
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| Return 0 (1282) | |
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Really? I've not had any problems... and my wife loves video games :)... | |||
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| Seraphimsan (954) | |
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Yea to be perfectly honest, neither have I xD. My only real problem is keeping one o.o | |||
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| firedraco (5413) | |
| Wtf is this crap then? I can't find ANY girls that like video games and/or programming around my age...I call BS! | |
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| Seraphimsan (954) | |
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lol, if your in highschool hang arround the marching band kids, you'll likely find at least one girl gamer. My first love was a major gamer, and a programmer..but I got her into that. :P If you're in college: Look to the CS department. I'm sure it's not a total sausage fest. If your in the workforce....well I'm sorry but sucks for you, most girls grow out of it by then XD | |
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| imi (426) | |
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*chrm*... to get back to joke topics. In the acronym list is missing: MCSE - (Minesweeper Consultant and Solitaire Expert) And while we speak of it.. Everyone knows: "Consultant = Confuse + Insult" Ciao, Imi. PS: I am married :-P | |
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| Blitz Coder (90) | |
| Does she game though? | |
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| Seraphimsan (954) | |
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The Novice programmer looks at his finished code and believes it to be perfect. The Average programmer sees his finished code as a work with bugs to fix. The Master programmer knows that no code is without bugs, but always looks to repair them. Not really a joke but one of my favorite coding quotes. | |
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| Blitz Coder (90) | |
| Thus starts the coders quest: The search for the Bug Free code (rumored to be just a legend) | |
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| chrisname (5896) | |
Here's some:
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| Grey Wolf (3172) | |
| No, you're missing an ' ' after the third ' '. | |
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