What happened to the jokes?

Pages: 123
I remember there was once such a thread... since it seems to be lost, I am starting a new one!
I start with the CIA

CIA: Computer Industry Acronyms

CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
AAAAA: American Association Against Acronym Abuse.
WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW: What You See Is What You Might Get If You’re Really Really Lucky And All Goes Well.
Lol; some of those were pretty good, especially the last one, because it's true. Virtually every "WYSIWYG" editor is really a "WYSIWYMGIYRRLAAGW" editor >:(
Last edited on
The programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can't find a girlfriend with a good <HEAD> on her <BODY>, reason 0 being that he has limited cache.

So often he searches his memory to recall connecting to the TCP/IP tunnel of his last girlfriend -- sometimes even without a secure socket.

His last girlfriend always complained about his lack of comments. He fumed, "I hate commenting!"

Realizing it was a program requirement, he told her she had nice bits.

This resulted in a Syntax Error.

Now she demanded a massage but this was rejected as "Feature Creep."

He smacked her back-end and shouted, "Who's your parent node?!"

He scanned for open ports. He attempted to install a backdoor worm but her response was 403.

While his data uploaded into her input device, she considered terminating the process. But instead she initiated a Do While loop where she recalled a previous boyfriend with a larger pointer.

To expedite the routine routine, she screamed, "Hack into my system! Hack deep into my system! You're 1337, baby!"

This caused his stack to overflow and he shot his GUI on her interface
This last scenario is impossible. No Programmer is capable of finding a gf :B
No Programmer is capable of finding a gf

****...so true...
what a pity:P...

c++ = your gf... ever cheated with ur IDE?...
Last edited on
even if my c++ gf did cheat with my IDE, its ok because I can kill the IDE and not get in any trouble for it :P
Seraphimsan wrote:
No Programmer is capable of finding a gf
firedracp wrote:
****...so true...

Don't feel bad chris, you'll always have the best god damn girlfriend you can ever ask for. She always does exactly what you tell her to do, even to a fault. She's smart, witty, funny, and loves playing videogames, she also loves it when you play arround with I/O ports, so long as you don't touch the wrong cable. Yup, the computer is the best girlfriend a programmer could ever ask for. hell, I have 3 of them and not a single one of them gets jealous of the others. Especially not the one I put in the kitchen. where she will stay, just like she belongs.
Seraphimsan wrote:
No Programmer is capable of finding a gf :B

Really? I've not had any problems... and my wife loves video games :)...
Return 0 wrote:
Really? I've not had any problems

Yea to be perfectly honest, neither have I xD. My only real problem is keeping one o.o
Last edited on
Wtf is this crap then? I can't find ANY girls that like video games and/or programming around my age...I call BS!
lol, if your in highschool hang arround the marching band kids, you'll likely find at least one girl gamer. My first love was a major gamer, and a programmer..but I got her into that. :P

If you're in college: Look to the CS department. I'm sure it's not a total sausage fest.

If your in the workforce....well I'm sorry but sucks for you, most girls grow out of it by then XD
*chrm*... to get back to joke topics. In the acronym list is missing:

MCSE - (Minesweeper Consultant and Solitaire Expert)

And while we speak of it.. Everyone knows: "Consultant = Confuse + Insult"

Ciao, Imi.
PS: I am married :-P
Does she game though?
The Novice programmer looks at his finished code and believes it to be perfect. The Average programmer sees his finished code as a work with bugs to fix. The Master programmer knows that no code is without bugs, but always looks to repair them.

Not really a joke but one of my favorite coding quotes.
Thus starts the coders quest: The search for the Bug Free code (rumored to be just a legend)
Here's some:
Last edited on
No, you're missing an ' ' after the third ' '.
Pages: 123