How to google

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closed account (S6k9GNh0)
Some people I've met recently mentioned that google searching was too complex for most people to use. So I've come up with this excellent and fairly (and I mean fairly) easy guide to comprehend.

Step one: Download and install a browser. If you don't have internet (or a browser to get one from), you may attempt to contact google services or some other similar company to send you a CD containing a browser to use. However, this may require internet so I doubt they'll do this for you.

Step two: Go to "" by typing these exact letters into the URL bar in your browser. This part is fairly complex as the syntax here is obviously obscure and unfamiliar to the common newbie. All this means is that we're using the http protocol to connect to whatever resolves to (if anything in the case you don't have a valid connection to the internet).

Step three: When you arrive at this page, most people get lost and confused. Don't panic! It's actually pretty simple (or its supposed to be anyways). On the page, there should be a text box and one to two buttons present with a bunch of other highlighted words. Ignore the highlighted words for now as this is fairly difficult stuff to understand. For now, we'll focus on the text box and the button with the words "Google Search". Now, all we need to do is type in whatever you want into the text box. Please be warned that it might go haywire and have a bunch of weird stuff pop up on the screen as you type! If it doesn't, finish typing, and click the button labeled: "Google Search". Don't panic! Do not click the X button! All this weird stuff is called "search results". Now, we're going to go a bit fast here, but lets take this step by step. Each page of "search results" is organized by sections. Each section is determined by the the large header sized text, normally called the result title, which usually gives a small description of the "search result" (note the loss of the s to remove plurality). Each title gives a small description underneath, and through the title and the description, you should be able to determine whether or not the information you need is from that result! Now, if it is, all you need to do is click on the title! That's right, the titles are click-able! Now, click on one, and it'll take you to a new web page containing the information you (might) have been looking for!

Congratulations! You have graduated from Search Academy. The great god of Google will be please.
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About step 1: if they don't have an Internet, how will they use Google anyway? Or how can they read this page?
surely not with :^/
About step 2: that is way too complex, most browsers will accept just in the URL and add the protocol themselves
Ok, so I'm typing things in but when I press "Google" it goes back to the first page!
Shit man, have the same problems as chrisname, any suggestions?
closed account (S6k9GNh0)
Bazzy, that's part of the joke, its recursive (slightly).
chrisname, CTRL + ALT + DEL
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most browsers will accept just in the URL and add the protocol themselves

Don't they go further than that? Can't you just type "google"?


nope... guess not (not in IE anyway). That's actually pretty surprising.

Anyway, you don't even need to go to google to google in some broswers. IE and Firefox both have a search box next to the address bar that ties to google (although newer versions of IE might go to Bing instead?)
Safari also has a search box next to the URL that permits direct use of google, and in Chrome you can just type the search terms and it will auto-input into your engine of choice.

I've once seen a user of IE who may have clicked 'I agree' to many times without reading, so had something like 5 plug-in search bars, one per search engine.
Just once, Bazzy? I've seen it far too often. A cousin of mine had 7 of those, and didn't want me to remove them (because I could break the browser)!
Enter "google" as the URL and then press CTRL-ENTER.

Anyway, it's worth mention that Google searches can vary their results significantly by choosing the right keywords.

My tips:
- Consider alternate wordings and group the most relevant words first.
- Use double quotes to enter phrases that include whitespace.
- Add a + or - before keywords that must or must not appear in the results.
- Specify a domain if you are interested in results on a specific site (this forum, for example). Google searches often out-perform the Google-driven search box on this site!
- Google first in your own words and then using those results use the words that the industry professionals appear to use. Getting the right term will result in many more results. Don't be afraid to read up on a topic and use that information to find better results.

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I'd really like to try Google but that I'm Feeling Lucky button is kind of freakin' me out!
I knew it! I typed in "C++" and pressed it and ended up here:

Never Again!
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Last edited on (actually, it looks pretty interesting)
Disch wrote:
Don't they go further than that? Can't you just type "google"? nope... guess not (not in IE anyway). That's actually pretty surprising.

lynx does that, sadly links doesn't. I wouldn't be surprised if just bing works in IE
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They may not be able to find the search button, I believe google page is localize or each country like mine. Though still have the option to change to english :)
Be careful: If you type google into google you break the internet!
If you know someone that can't figure out google you can do it for them and send them a link. However they do already have to have the internet and a browser.

Here are some examples.
Well that was really funny . Thanks
Be careful: If you type google into google you break the internet!
:-) ... really funny!!!
Reminds me of in old sci-fis when they would tell a robot a paradox =P
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