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I'm tired...
| EssGeEich (2014) Jan 1, 2014 |
Hee.
| It leads me to think they need to have to things happen; get a thicker skin and grow up. |
See, we were HOPING to have a community wherein having a skin that an armadillo would be jealous of is unnecessary. A nice community where yes we'd have an occasional flame-war, but with no hard feelings. I'm willing to bet that some of our regulars (like myself) joined and stayed because of that. If we lose that polite and respectful air, then one of our largest strong points becomes lost.
-Albatross
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closed account (N36fSL3A)
I honestly don't see anything changing, people just left because they got angry over debates...
I like computerquip and am sad to see him go. But at the same time, I'm a little disappointed that he rage-quitted.
In case he's still lurking (or in case there's anyone else who is also thinking of ragequitting), I have some advice:
1) If the forum starts getting on your nerves... first thing to try is to stay out of the Lounge for a while. The Lounge can be a little... how can I put this... volatile? Unsubstantive? I find myself taking extended breaks from the lounge simply because it wears me down. (case in point, I didn't even see this thread until 3 days after you posted it =x)
2) Keep in mind this is the internet, and most people (including myself) tend to be appear more hostile than they actually are or are intending to be. Partly due to being unable to communicate body language and tone of voice through text... but also due to the fact that people are interacting with a machine and not an actual person. You can't take things so personally on web forums.
3) Making a grandiose "goodbye post" about how the users in this forum are mistreating you does not stir up any empathy or encourage any change. It actually accomplishes very little, and what little it does accomplish is unfavorable for you (at least in my mind).
4) Closing your account is another empty gesture that does more against you than for you. Like a kid smashing his video game because he got frustrated with it.
5) If you feel you're being mistreated by people on the forum, talk to them about it. They probably don't even realize what they're doing. Shoot them a PM and explain what's going on and they're likely to change their tone immediately.
All of that said.... it's entirely possible for the forum to cause more anguish than joy. And if that happens, then yes, it's not worth it and you should absolutely leave. But even then I would just quietly stop coming, rather than making a thread like this.
Take that for what it's worth.
In case he's still lurking (or in case there's anyone else who is also thinking of ragequitting), I have some advice:
1) If the forum starts getting on your nerves... first thing to try is to stay out of the Lounge for a while. The Lounge can be a little... how can I put this... volatile? Unsubstantive? I find myself taking extended breaks from the lounge simply because it wears me down. (case in point, I didn't even see this thread until 3 days after you posted it =x)
2) Keep in mind this is the internet, and most people (including myself) tend to be appear more hostile than they actually are or are intending to be. Partly due to being unable to communicate body language and tone of voice through text... but also due to the fact that people are interacting with a machine and not an actual person. You can't take things so personally on web forums.
3) Making a grandiose "goodbye post" about how the users in this forum are mistreating you does not stir up any empathy or encourage any change. It actually accomplishes very little, and what little it does accomplish is unfavorable for you (at least in my mind).
4) Closing your account is another empty gesture that does more against you than for you. Like a kid smashing his video game because he got frustrated with it.
5) If you feel you're being mistreated by people on the forum, talk to them about it. They probably don't even realize what they're doing. Shoot them a PM and explain what's going on and they're likely to change their tone immediately.
All of that said.... it's entirely possible for the forum to cause more anguish than joy. And if that happens, then yes, it's not worth it and you should absolutely leave. But even then I would just quietly stop coming, rather than making a thread like this.
Take that for what it's worth.
I'm just tired of all the spammy threads in the lounge. I don't mind flame threads - but what we have instead is threads that are nothing but pointless spam. We've even had thread games before! What in the world possesses people respond to these threads instead of reporting the posts?
I'm not going to leave, but I am going to state my mind.
I'm not going to leave, but I am going to state my mind.
closed account (Dy7SLyTq)
whats wrong with a thread game? they are fun and you arent required to take part them if they bug you that much
They're blatant spam. There is no reason for them to exist, all they do is take up space and distract people. If you want to have fun why not play a real game or do the thread game on a forum designed for thread games?
| Paoletti301, sir, if a member leaves purely based on 'youthful members' and 'overall attitude on the forums' then it leads me to think they need to have to things happen; get a thicker skin and grow up. Leaving for those two reasons are completely immature. At the time their reasoning may seem logical at the time, but in the end it is still immature. |
Leaving because a place is filled with annoyance and childlike behavior is immature? I don't know about you, but most people have limited free time, why would someone choose to spend it in an atmosphere they dont enjoy? Have preferences toward who you choose to spend your time around is not a sign of immaturity. admittedly, closing your account and saying good bye in this manner would not have been the route that i would have taken, but to each his own.
closed account (91qLy60M)
EssGeEich, sir, as I explained in another post, I was raised calling everyone sir or ma'am as a way of showing respect. Not saying it was considered in my family to be rude and disrespectful. The fact that you or someone else finds it annoying doesn't bother me. I would rather you be annoyed and me continue being respectful than remove your annoyance and become disrespectful in my mind. If it makes you feel any better, you are the third person to get onto me.
Albatross, ma'am, the community is nice-ish. Minus a few users.
Sirs, I have noticed a lot of the members have things that bug them and seem to go out of their way to voice it. Beginners posts with "Help!" in the title, users giving beginners answers, thread games, me saying "sir/ma'am". That is just what I've noticed since joining. As DTSCode pointed, if they bother you then you don't have to pay attention to them or take part in the thread or threads. Bringing them up in threads or making full threads on them may give you a place to vent, but you never seem to stop and think of the negative effects it could have on the site or users. Almost didn't join after seeing the two threads about beginners, but I have questions about C++ while I'm learning and have to ask somewhere or go on wondering my questions.
Albatross, ma'am, the community is nice-ish. Minus a few users.
Sirs, I have noticed a lot of the members have things that bug them and seem to go out of their way to voice it. Beginners posts with "Help!" in the title, users giving beginners answers, thread games, me saying "sir/ma'am". That is just what I've noticed since joining. As DTSCode pointed, if they bother you then you don't have to pay attention to them or take part in the thread or threads. Bringing them up in threads or making full threads on them may give you a place to vent, but you never seem to stop and think of the negative effects it could have on the site or users. Almost didn't join after seeing the two threads about beginners, but I have questions about C++ while I'm learning and have to ask somewhere or go on wondering my questions.
closed account (3qX21hU5)
| Phoenix Omega wrote: |
|---|
| As DTSCode pointed, if they bother you then you don't have to pay attention to them or take part in the thread or threads. Bringing them up in threads or making full threads on them may give you a place to vent, but you never seem to stop and think of the negative effects it could have on the site or users |
Seems a bit one sided and is a bunch of hypocrisy if you ask me. But I won't get into that debate.
closed account (Dy7SLyTq)
ok wait... i was just talking about forum games. that is just LBs opinion that they shouldnt be played and it is fine that he has it. i was just saying that some people enjoy them and it is in a place where we arent specifically required to be serious. things like beginners saying "Help" should be addressed because they need to know how to post properly
closed account (91qLy60M)
| Zereo wrote: |
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| Seems a bit one sided and is a bunch of hypocrisy if you ask me. |
Zereo, sir, maybe a little one sided.
Three people have said my way of showing respect was annoying, but I've not made a vent thread over it because I can ignore it. They can be annoyed, but venting their annoyance toward me isn't going to make me stop doing what I have done all my life and me venting over the non-acceptance of me won't change their opinion of my form of expressing respect. Them venting though makes me feel unwelcome here because I show respect with formal greetings.
If you have a problem with your neighbor, you aren't going to voice it where it can get back to them and stir up a hornets nest, but instead you will ignore it and learn to overlook it so you can live. Same should be for forums.
What I meant by negative effects is that online, perception is key to a site's longevity. All parts of a site add to or subtract from a sites perception so things like rage quit, venting threads, and spam have serious potential to negatively change the perception of a site.
| Phoenix Omega wrote: |
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| Not saying it was considered in my family to be rude and disrespectful. The fact that you or someone else finds it annoying doesn't bother me. |
Then, apparently you're not doing it for politeness' sake.
| Phoenix Omega wrote: |
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| I would rather you be annoyed and me continue being respectful than remove your annoyance and become disrespectful in my mind. |
I'm still failing to see the reverence for respect or politeness that you profess to hold.
| Phoenix Omega wrote: |
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| As DTSCode pointed, if they bother you then you don't have to pay attention to them or take part in the thread or threads. |
Community members are concerned with what happens in a community. Take that away and you don't have much of a community any more.
| Phoenix Omega wrote: |
|---|
| Bringing them up in threads or making full threads on them may give you a place to vent, but you never seem to stop and think of the negative effects it could have on the site or users. |
As opposed to the folks who make them? They have an obviously deleterious effect on the boards. If they didn't there wouldn't be people "bringing them up in threads or making full threads on them [...] to vent."
I don't know why I'm responding to you, honestly. I don't know whether you're a troll or just oblivious, but either way I don't expect to have any constructive conversation here.
Hi-yo, Silver! Away!
[edit: typo]
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closed account (Dy7SLyTq)
| Community members are concerned with what happens in a community. Take that away and you don't have much of a community any more. |
ha! so you do care what happens to me! you dont hate me then!
closed account (N36fSL3A)
Yea I know. Remember the post when LB said that people in a certain age group are displaying a certain behavior?
| Phoenix Omega wrote: |
|---|
| Three people have said my way of showing respect was annoying, but I've not made a vent thread over it because I can ignore it. They can be annoyed, but venting their annoyance toward me isn't going to make me stop doing what I have done all my life and me venting over the non-acceptance of me won't change their opinion of my form of expressing respect. Them venting though makes me feel unwelcome here because I show respect with formal greetings. |
Firstly, there's a difference between venting and just letting you know. Just because they tell you that what you are doing is annoying them does not mean they are venting. It means they are telling you so that you will realize it's annoying and thus be able to stop. After all, if nobody told you, how could you ever know?
Secondly, you might want to remember what "respect" actually means. If your form of showing respect is annoying people, then you're not really showing respect because you're annoying them (they're contradictory -- you can't really be showing respect while simultaneously annoying someone). If you REALLY want to show respect, you would honor people's wishes and address them the way they want to be addressed, rather than stubbornly stick to a form a address that you know annoys them.
Ignoring peoples wishes is disrespectful... honoring them is respectful.
Thirdly, if 3 separate people are telling you that your form of address is annoying... you might want to reconsider your form of address for everyone. For every one person that actually speaks up about it being annoying, there are likely others who find it annoying but are too timid to say so.
Lastly, it shouldn't make you feel uncomfortable when people politely tell you that what you are doing is annoying them.
Personally, I don't care one way or the other... though I do find "<Name>, sir, <sentence>" to be more condescending than respectful, even in 'real life' speech... so I can understand why others find it annoying.
But maybe it's regional. Where are you from?